Sunday, 6 January 2013

Last Day of Christmas Christmas Cracker Jokes

Today is officially the last day of Christmas, the 12th day. So, because of that, we took down the Christmas decs today because your supposed to. We pulled the left over crackers too and that made me think of some of my favourite, and rather pathetic, Christmas jokes. I'll start with the ones in the left over crackers, the ones what we pulled today. What I'll do is I'll put the joke question part and underneath it I'll put the joke answer thing underneath and you have to try and work out the answer, good luck to you 'cause some of them are pretty awful, making them pretty tricky. When you get fed up of trying to work out the answers highlight the Little White Box underneath the question and then you'll be able to see the answer, you see.

The first 4 jokes were from pound shop crackers (pushed the boat out a bit this year), as you can most probably tell:

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?
Because it soots (suits) him. Aha-ha-ha-ha!

What do you call a man who plays with leaves?
(Thats a bit of a dodgy joke to put in a cracker that's cracked by young children don't you think?) Well, the answer is Russell!!! Aha-ha-ha-ha!

What fur do we get from a tiger?
(Isn't it obvious? Tiger fur!) "As fur (far) as possible" says the actual answer. Aha-ha-ha-NOT FUNNY!!

What do you get when you cross a cat with a lemon?
(Not Keith Lemon) "A sour puss!" Hmmmmm..... 'cringe'

What has holes but holds water?
(See, I thought this was a bladder but apparently not) It's a sponge. Queue laughing.

What do you find hiding in the bakery at Christmas time?
Mince Pies (Mince-Spies) See, that ones quite clever.

This is my personal favourite:
Hmmm... I've forgot the other one, ermmmmmmmm, ah yes!
What do you get if you cross a cracker with a duck?
A Christmas Cracker! (Christmas Quaker!) Now that is quite a good one, as far as Christmas cracker jokes go.

This ones not very Christmassy, well it's not really Christmassy at all, but...
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?
Money. (You dirty minded people!)

What did Cinderella say when the chemist lost her photos? 
Someday my prints (prince) will come! 

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